apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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