so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
