I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
