So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
