Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize