Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
