Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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