let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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