He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
