Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
