yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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