im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
