i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
