I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize