I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm really busy with my period
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