nut hugger
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
