party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
