Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
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I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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