Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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