I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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