Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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