So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
