I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize