and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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