New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
