we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
