Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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