Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I love you. Go after that dick
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
