He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
