he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
