So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
