She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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