JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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