My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
