My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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