how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
