I feel great
I just peed on a car
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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