i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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