i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
