She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
