last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
