Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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