I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
