I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
