I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
