Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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