I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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