Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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