everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
