That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
