Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Duck Duck Cougar?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize