I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
as a side note pls kill me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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