have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
