I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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