it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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