tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
