R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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