I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
