I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
