I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
